Loneliness

I grew up very sheltered, and very conservetive. Being homeschooled can be very lonely, especially for sociable guy like me. The friends you do make you dont see often, the ones in public school even less, if you go to a small church with really no one your age your pretty much stuck. I have friends, oh yes, and very good ones at that. But i still never see them. The most exciting, fun time of the year for me, second to christmas, is a the annual Grace Bible Camp in arkansas. I have many friends there, coming from all over. From arkensas, tennessee, alabama, texas, and even (rarely) England and a missionary from scandinavia. But the problem i've run into, is that rarely do the people my age support the values their parents uphold. When were alone they go to swearing, talking about how they tricked a girl into cheating on her boyfriend, a couple talk about their time in juv, and one i would NOT be surprised if he is on drugs. Some crowd. But it pulls. Oh, does it pull. How can i pass this up??? Here is a crowd that wants me, that accepts me easily. I dont get friends back home, the way most people think of friends. I CANT pass up spending time with them. I CANT be alone, but there is no way i can hang around the girls who are singing phantom all the time. Then i'll just look like imbtrying to be a ladies man. Im a guy. Guys are supposed to hang out with guys, right? Well most guys now are not worth my time. Its a very, very sad truth. I was called gay the other day, because i was too NICE. So what, masculenity means being a jerk? That explains why so many girls lose hope. I mean whats wrong with people?????? Doesnt this behaviour bother them??? And girls!!! You only premote ill treatment of yourself and fellow girls by dressing trashily! People curse and cheat and lie and they wonder why no one likes them and why their gf left them. Maybe its because deep down, even tough girls want guys to treat them like a princess. Like they are the one thing that matters in the guys life. I am not saying you wont be alone in life if you follow this guidline. Look at me!! I can pretty much tell you as a rule of thumb: if you treat a lady 'properly' and are always their for her, your getting friendzoned. It happens. And yes, it gets really, really lonely. But how can i stop? I cant stop caring, and helping, and being there for someone who is hurting, and needs comfort. I cant help it. Even when i know it only condemns me to being alone, i help.

I should try and sleep now..... Sorry if i rambled a bit but its LATE, I'm not super clear right now.