Eclipsed

No, this isnt a post about twilight. This is a post many people can relate to, if not on the same level as me. Its also a post that deals with some of my most deeply rooted feelings, most of them bitter.
I think, that i honestly have one of the worse positons in a family, though not the worst. Everything adds up against me.
   You see, being the youngest in a family has its perks. Becoming the second youngest, however, does not. And yet I carry the responsibilities of the oldest son as well. Growing up in a family of girls, obviously, is not ideal. While I have become quite familiar with how they act and how to treat them, its also well known that girls are, well, the PREFERRED children. While I am expected to take all responsibility in my house, and be a perfect role model, my family makes it very clear they have no respect for me at all. This would all be a million times easier to bear- exept I have a twin. A picture of everything I am not, she is what I will always be expected to be. I am a eternally grateful that its not an identacal twin, partly because he would be the perfection and light to my brokenness and shadow. Already I am the black sheep of my family, sicking out only farther against the one I am expected to be most like, my twin. Its true, we ARE close, and have that special bond between twins. I just cant share things with her. So much she wouldnt understand because she has never known. I know her, and she thinks she knows me, but im not the guy she thinks i am. There will always be that distance, that one sided... resentment, on the part of the "lesser" twin. I am expected more of and thought less of. Because of this, I need somewhere to run that has nothing to do with her. That's partly why she doesn't know my blog address. Most every post I've made I wouldn't tell her. It gets so frustrating, to make lower grades, to leave the room with her, and only you are called back to work. To both (admitedly) spend your days on the computer, and only you get in trouble, even though you were working twoward a carreer while she was on PINTREST all day. I have come to HATE pintrest. All around me, I see people wasting away every free second on it. Its disgusting. If your reading this and you know me in real life, please be courtious and NEVER pintrest or talk about how much you love it in front of me. You'll only make me never want to spend time with you again. (This may be the goal of some, but if thays true I don't count you as a loss to my friends)
Its a cumulation of events over time, butterness over the many individually insignificant events, and the constant favoritism just gets so old.