Secrets

They say Love is the most powerful force in the universe. I believe that is true. But the second most powerful must be secrets.
    Secrets drive every human interaction. If you make a purchase or barter, it comes down in the end to how much the other is willing to give. The 'secret' to gaining the advantage is to push the other person to divulge his first- or, how much is the least he will accept from you. Every diplomatic relation is about the same thing- to gain more of your opponents secrets then he does yours. In the information age, knowledge is power. And a lot of its only powerful if its a secret. OR if it suddenly becomes NOT a secret. When it boils down to it, every friendship is based on how much the other is willing to say and NOT say. Those who say the most, are the weakest. The manipulation and trade of secrets is the true commerce of the world. You can trade the keeping or telling secrets for money, or with just a single secret destroy friendships and start wars. Everyone has something they want to keep hidden. I believe that, with the right secret, anyone could be manipulated. Not always bribed, no, but tricked into taking a course of action that actually aids you. You'd want to keep that a secret from them, of course. Otherwise it would have no power. When it comes down to it, secrets are the binary code of knowledge  on or off, told or untold. And knowledge is power. You might argue then, that knowledge, not secrets, is the second strongest force. And in a way, you'd be right. Except Knowledge is not so useful without secrets. They are the base way of manipulating knowledge, and if you cant control and capture that power, then its useless.

Well, I got my wisdom teeth removed today. JUST KILL ME. The doctor said I had the most troublesome teeth he had ever pulled..

MUSIC!

SCM music player is the best. Just saying. It takes YOUTUBE LINKS. if you you fellow bloggers want one, just go to there site, go through the steps, and take the html code and copy it. then go to Blogger> layout> gadgets  new> Html/Java Code. Its beautiful. and for those who loath my music taste, there is both a mute and a pause button. (there will be more of a selection later, I'm busy now) 

Eclipsed

No, this isnt a post about twilight. This is a post many people can relate to, if not on the same level as me. Its also a post that deals with some of my most deeply rooted feelings, most of them bitter.
I think, that i honestly have one of the worse positons in a family, though not the worst. Everything adds up against me.
   You see, being the youngest in a family has its perks. Becoming the second youngest, however, does not. And yet I carry the responsibilities of the oldest son as well. Growing up in a family of girls, obviously, is not ideal. While I have become quite familiar with how they act and how to treat them, its also well known that girls are, well, the PREFERRED children. While I am expected to take all responsibility in my house, and be a perfect role model, my family makes it very clear they have no respect for me at all. This would all be a million times easier to bear- exept I have a twin. A picture of everything I am not, she is what I will always be expected to be. I am a eternally grateful that its not an identacal twin, partly because he would be the perfection and light to my brokenness and shadow. Already I am the black sheep of my family, sicking out only farther against the one I am expected to be most like, my twin. Its true, we ARE close, and have that special bond between twins. I just cant share things with her. So much she wouldnt understand because she has never known. I know her, and she thinks she knows me, but im not the guy she thinks i am. There will always be that distance, that one sided... resentment, on the part of the "lesser" twin. I am expected more of and thought less of. Because of this, I need somewhere to run that has nothing to do with her. That's partly why she doesn't know my blog address. Most every post I've made I wouldn't tell her. It gets so frustrating, to make lower grades, to leave the room with her, and only you are called back to work. To both (admitedly) spend your days on the computer, and only you get in trouble, even though you were working twoward a carreer while she was on PINTREST all day. I have come to HATE pintrest. All around me, I see people wasting away every free second on it. Its disgusting. If your reading this and you know me in real life, please be courtious and NEVER pintrest or talk about how much you love it in front of me. You'll only make me never want to spend time with you again. (This may be the goal of some, but if thays true I don't count you as a loss to my friends)
Its a cumulation of events over time, butterness over the many individually insignificant events, and the constant favoritism just gets so old.

The Secret to Happiness

I am about to reveal the coveted secret to happiness. At least my version of it.

    Somedays, I'm pure wit incarnate, sure of myself, with a razor tounge that deals jokes and scathing comments alike. I am confident that I can accomplish anything I choose. Other days I dislike myself and question my friends loyalties, sure that I am spoken badly of, or not even noticed at all. Mostly, I slip between these with seemingly no reason. But lately, I have decided that it is a CHOICE, that I can choose to be happy. Nothing holds me back. It doesn't matter what others think, how I feel is my own, and they should not be able to bring me down. And its true. I gathered my thoughts and used my legendary will to stubbornly be happy, choosing to be content with myself and uncareing of others opinions. Somedays this is harder than others, but its always possible. The power to be happy is in everyone, we just don't know it or choose not to be.

Shoutout

So I decided to look at my audiance the other day, and I found I have a faithfull reader in GERMANY. I'm part german, actually! Anyway, if just like to give a shoutout to the guy in germany that reads this blog. Or girl. I like girls! Oh sorry getting distracted... anyway, whoever you are, your awesome!

Glow

That feeling when you look across a crowded room, and suddenly, you find yourself staring at Her, because no one else is actually important at all. Some people just have a way of sucking all the light and life in a room up and radiating it. I wish I had that talent. But I suppose it could depend on the viewer. Maybe to someone, its like that with me.

To know her is to love her

I'm goin' undercover
To catch a glimpse but not get caught

But to see her, could be worse
If I don't get my head straight first
On second thought I guess I'll not

She's almost brighter than the sun
Seems to me to be unfair
When you consider everyone
Who pales when they compare
When they compare