How does everyone around me keep themselves so CONTAINED?? Doesn't it HURT? Cant they feel it CONSUME them? Doesn't everyone burn with feelings that can never be bound by words? I have a HURRICANE inside my head, how do they keep it in? Sometimes I just want to give it all up. To find the person I trust most in the world, let down all my walls, connect my mind to their's, and show them EVERYTHING. The Good and the Bad. To just trust that when it was done their revulsion of the bad would be quieted by the knowledge that I had punished myself more than anyone else could. They would see it all. The times I did the right thing and suffered for it to save others from pain. All those times I was the monster, the villain, and never apologized, and deep down, still wasn't sorry for. In the end, aren't we all just looking for forgiveness? For absolution? Because if they saw all the bad things I've done, then they would see all the good too. And they would see WHY I did both. And maybe they could understand.
Then of course my ADD gets the better of me and i stop thinking deep thoughts and start wondering about the implications of two minds connected together. If I put my head in someone else's, they would have everything that makes me ME. All the problems and good things that forged ME. If they were to reward my complete trust in them, and allow me to see the THEIR naked mind, (which I sincerely hope they would, I'd be a bit hurt if they didn't, after I literally showed them everything I ever tried to hide) then wouldn't we become the same person? We would BOTH be the combination of each other. Assuming that my mind had just as loud a voice in their's, and their's in mine, and that nobody was driven crazy by this little event, we would become the SAME PERSON. The combined strengths and weaknesses of both. Would our weaknesses combine to cripple us? Or would our combined life experience and personal strengths be enough to overcome the others weaknesses? If I had even the slightest amount of writing skill I would feel I had to write a novel exploring the different possibilities. Would we go on to live our separate lives, gaining different experiences, and develop into two totally different people again? Or would the combined lives and personalities be strong enough to keep us essentially the same? Which raises ANOTHER question, this one about the origin of personalities. Are people made from the life they live? Or were they ALWAYS going to be the same personality from birth. Are they BORN with the potential to be anyone, and life brings out certain traits, while others remain inside them, with no influence at all, like seeds never watered? Or was I from birth, say, ALWAYS an ENFP? Newborns cant express personality types. That's not to say they don't have different personalities, but that means nothing, because ALREADY they have been gaining experience that could have made them into who they are.
Then of course my ADD gets the better of me and i stop thinking deep thoughts and start wondering about the implications of two minds connected together. If I put my head in someone else's, they would have everything that makes me ME. All the problems and good things that forged ME. If they were to reward my complete trust in them, and allow me to see the THEIR naked mind, (which I sincerely hope they would, I'd be a bit hurt if they didn't, after I literally showed them everything I ever tried to hide) then wouldn't we become the same person? We would BOTH be the combination of each other. Assuming that my mind had just as loud a voice in their's, and their's in mine, and that nobody was driven crazy by this little event, we would become the SAME PERSON. The combined strengths and weaknesses of both. Would our weaknesses combine to cripple us? Or would our combined life experience and personal strengths be enough to overcome the others weaknesses? If I had even the slightest amount of writing skill I would feel I had to write a novel exploring the different possibilities. Would we go on to live our separate lives, gaining different experiences, and develop into two totally different people again? Or would the combined lives and personalities be strong enough to keep us essentially the same? Which raises ANOTHER question, this one about the origin of personalities. Are people made from the life they live? Or were they ALWAYS going to be the same personality from birth. Are they BORN with the potential to be anyone, and life brings out certain traits, while others remain inside them, with no influence at all, like seeds never watered? Or was I from birth, say, ALWAYS an ENFP? Newborns cant express personality types. That's not to say they don't have different personalities, but that means nothing, because ALREADY they have been gaining experience that could have made them into who they are.
